Four Positive Things To Do When Life Becomes A Bit Negative
‘In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, ‘Listen, I have to be responsible for myself.’ – Howard Schultz
It is easy to feel sorry for yourself. I think we sometimes love feeling sorry for ourselves. It is funny how we can welcome frustration and worry with open hands and comfortably live with them. Yet, we find it hard to hold positive thoughts of ourselves and be happy. I wonder what the psychology is behind that.
Your man left you for another woman. 5 years has passed. Get over it!
Your girlfriend left you because you lost all your money. Get over it!
Your friend betrayed you. It has been 3 three years. Get over it!
You go everywhere telling every Tom, Dick and Harry about your problems. About how John did you wrong. About how Mary took you for ride. For a while, people will entertain you (and for a short while, that is). They will sympathize with you and tell you how ungrateful people are. They will tell you that the world is getting more wicked each day.
But then people get tired of you. People have their own problems to worry about. They do not want to hear you complain about how hard your life is for the 100th time. People are drawn to positivity. They are drawn to things that would make them feel better.
They are drawn to success stories. Stories were the underdog becomes a winner. Stories in which people actively turn their negativity into positivity. It gives them hope and motivates them to do something to turn their negative into positive.
You know the emotion I just do not get? The emotion that I find to be one of the most useless emotion ever? Self-pity! I mean pity in of itself is bad. I hate when pity is directed my way. Makes me feel like such a loser. But self-pity…self pity is the worst! I do not understand why we love to dwell in self pity. It in no shape or form helps us. But yet we tend to make it our closest ally. The only thing it does is help you sink into a bottomless dark pit! Ok…let me get back on track. Sorry I just had to talk about that.
As I was saying…I have dark days, like most people. But whenever I feel I am beginning to dwell too much on things in a negative manner, I give myself a self talk that goes something like so:
Self talk: “Shirley, you are not the first to go through this. And you will not be the last. People have gone through similar situations. In fact, people have gone through worse situations than you have. And guess what? They found a way to still be happy and make something of themselves. Why can’t you?”
What does dwelling on the negative do for you? It just makes you miserable. You live in torment. You are frustrated. Phew, that is an exhausting way to live. And if your torment is derived from someone else, that person may be oblivious to the fact that they are the cause of your unhappiness. They are living. They are moving forward. They have no burdens.
So what should you do? Get over it!
And just do not get over it. Do not just deal with it. Actively do something positive to change your situation:
Cry your heart out
There is a release of all that stored up negativity when you cry. There is freedom when you cry. There is empowerment when you cry. There is healing when you cry. You are on the road to victory when you cry. You take back the power you gave to your offender when you cry. When you cry, the pain lessens a little bit. When you cry, the hurt goes away a bit.
Change your way of thinking
You have hurt someone close to you before. Knowingly and unknowingly. You wish heaven and earth for some of these people to find it in them to let bygones be bygones. Well, why can’t you do the same for someone else who hurt you?
Learn a new skill
Empower yourself with a new skill. It will also keep you busy and productive.
Do something about it
If you feel frustrated with your life, you should actively do something to change things. And do not give up. Persevere! Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He also said, “The three great essentials to achieve anything worthwhile are: hard work, stick-to-it-iveness and common sense.” I rest my case.
Life is too short for you to let your life be ruled by the actions or inactions of others.
Life is too short to let your temporal circumstances cloud your thinking.
You have been hurt. Get over it.
He angered you. Get over it.
Life is unfair. Get over it.
And then do something positive about it!
Remember, always be sincerely you!